Friday Poems Vol. 2

Hi all,

I’m rounding up the poems I have posted online this week. I hope you enjoy them, thanks for subscribing to this admittedly strange newsletter!

Do You Have A Minute?

The Hershey Company, also known as Hershey’s, would like to speak with you about a matter that we all agree is important more now than ever. Now more than ever.

*purses lips and looks down*

They are, as you know, one of the major chocolate manufacturers in the world.

In addition to chocolate they produce cookies, cakes, milkshakes, drinks and other products.

Founded by Milton Hershey in 1894, the company is currently publicly traded on the NYSE as “HSY”, and is a component of the S&P500.

The Hershey Company is chaired by Charles A. Davis, and the company’s president and CEO is Michele Buck. In 2018, the company’s revenue was $7.8 billion USD, with a 2017 annual net income of $783 million USD.

The Hershey Company has hired ACC Grannot, an advertising firm based in Israel, to craft a message for you. Together, the copywriters Tamar Zinger and Bnaya Moshe and art director Roni Hillel crafted a slogan which gets at the heart of what The Hershey Company wants to communicate to the public.

*clears throat and pauses*

The Hershey Company exhorts us to “Spread love from a distance”. What is at stake here is the exponential spread of COVID-19. COVID-19 spreads mainly among people who are in close contact (within about 6 feet) for a prolonged period. Spread happens when an infected person coughs, sneezes, or talks, and droplets from their mouth or nose are launched into the air and land in the mouths or noses of people nearby. The droplets can also be inhaled into the lungs. Recent studies indicate that people who are infected but do not have symptoms likely also play a role in the spread of COVID-19.

It may be possible that a person can get COVID-19 by touching a surface or object that has the virus on it and then touching their own mouth, nose, or eyes. However, this is not thought to be the main way the virus spreads. COVID-19 can live for hours or days on a surface, depending on factors such as sun light and humidity. Social distancing helps limit contact with infected people and contaminated surfaces.

Although the risk of severe illness may be different for everyone, anyone can get and spread COVID-19. Everyone has a role to play in slowing the spread and protecting themselves, their family, and their community.

This is why The Hershey Company and ACC Grannot have partnered to develop the “Spread love from a distance” campaign, to inform the public of these important health measures.

Walther PPK With Peppers, Pickles and Ketchup

We’re about to kill PM Morrison with concealable Liberator pistols and we’re eating

Triple Stacker Kings topped with smoky bacon,

melted American cheese and the Stacker sauce.

We’re about to kill Pres. Macron with OTS anthrax dart guns and we’re eating

two large Original Stuffed Crust Meat Lover’s packed with pepperoni, Italian sausage,

ham, bacon, seasoned pork and beef.

We’re about to kill Chanc. Merkel with Raytheon Silent Guardian DEWs and we’re eating

Flamin Hot Doritos Locos Tacos Supreme with fresco, jalapeño,

Mexican Pizza Sauce and Wild Strawberry Candy Freezes.

We’re about to kill Pres. Xi with Bulgarian umbrella guns and we’re eating

Double Quarter Pounders With Cheese topped with slivered onions, tangy pickles

and two slices of melty cheese on a sesame seed bun.

We’re about to kill Pres. Obrador with LPO-50 Flamethrowers and we’re eating

Flamethrower Grill Burgers topped with fiery FlameThrower sauce,

melted pepper jack cheese, jalapeno, beef strips, tomato and fresh lettuce.

We’re about to kill Pres. Michel with HM3 Poison Dart Frog watches and we’re eating

Sweet Onion Chicken Teriyaki on 12-inch Italian Parmesan Oregano buns with

Monterey Cheddar, red onions, tomatoes, and Chipotle Southwest sauce.


Rainforests: they can’t make me money,

and they’re not on the internet. They’re not unreal.

There is no VR game where I can copulate with a real banana tree.

I can only really copulate with a real banana tree.

Rainforests: if I could organize the tools,

and organize the power, they could make me money.

I can play a video game

where I can organize the tools, and organize the power.

Rainforests: they are too real to be valuable.

The more unreal I make myself

the more valuable I become.

Rainforests: It is in my power to create

a VR copulation experience with a tree.

The more I become unreal

the more I may do as I please.